Living with Power

I’m over here trying my best to raise kids who are not total jerks, have compassion for others and are tolerant, free thinkers who will change the world one day. That can’t be too much to ask right?

If the truth be told, I don’t really care about what job they end up having, if they go to college or how much money they make one day. Of course I want them to have the best life and feel successful, however that may look for them. My main concern is, are they kind.

Do they know how to stand up for others. How to face a bully. When to step in, when to step out and how to be the type of person who builds others up rather than tearing them down.

Are they confident enough in themselves to be able to celebrate others even when others have the very thing that they want?

Over the last decade there are a few things I’ve noticed that help build our own kids up and allow them to in turn build others up.

1. Kids see what we do more than they hear what we say. Saying “be kind” doesn’t really give any specifics. If they see you smile at a stranger, leave a little note for a friend, pick up their favorite snack at the grocery store, you are modeling some ways to be kind to others.
2. Make sure your “out loud” self talk is positive. Be kind to yourself. I’ve made a point to never say “I’m fat or ugly” in front of my kids (especially my daughter). If I make a mistake or am frustrated with myself I try to say something like “I’m learning too” or “I’m going to keep trying.” Being kind to yourself is the first step in being kind to others. When kids (and adults) feel built up, it is easier to build others up too.
3. Teach your kids how to stand up for themselves. Whether this is using words or walking away, kids need tools on how to handle when someone is not kind to them. I have always said to my students and my own children that if someone says something unkind to start by saying “thank you.” That’s a response that’s hard to respond to and usually throws people off. When others see that they can’t get under your skin, it’s less appealing to try.

These are just some simple and easy ways to start building a tribe of children who can spread the ripple of kindness out into the world. I’m challenging you today to pick one of mine or your own to implement and see what happens.

Share your experience in the comments!

-McKenzie